


RULE 5: Stan Loona

by idyllSunset



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - K-Pop Idols, Bets & Wagers, Crack Treated Seriously, Edit 1/1/2021 - i added in links to all the dances for ease of access lol, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, I almost titled this "no angst just Techno death drop", K-pop References, Random Play Dance Challenge, im in hell. and i'm not even a kpop stan but my roommate is so by osmosis here i am, this is so fucking cursed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:21:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28443078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idyllSunset/pseuds/idyllSunset
Summary: “I will pay you a hundred bucks if you can pull off every single song they play," Dream says.“Every one?” Techno asks, raising his eyebrows. “Isn’t the playlist like, half an hour?”Or, The Cursed Kpop AU to Complete The Cursed Year of 2020.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 125





	RULE 5: Stan Loona

**Author's Note:**

> Is this cursed? Yes. I’m well aware. WELL fuckin’ aware.  
> But like, listen, my roommate is slowly infecting my lesbian heart by getting me into loona and red velvet and i can only keep my hyperfixations separate for so long. I blame izethetic for providing the fuel for crossover brain rot. Go subscribe.  
> Also, if you’re not aware, an RPD is a Random Play Dance, or a game where a clip from a kpop song is played (usually a chorus or a dance break section) and dancers are expected to step forward and perform the dance if they know how to.

Techno is walkin’, mindin’ his own business, followin’ what his managers tell his group to do. Today, they’re supposed to record a RPD with a few other groups from their company before they split off to separate practice rooms to rehearse choreo.

At the moment, his group of performers and a camera crew are walking up the stairs to the hallway of dance studio rooms. All of SBI is here, both sleepyB⌀IS and STR♡Wberris. This, fortunately, means that Wilbur and Tommy will be glued to Niki and Tubbo respectively, leaving Techno blessedly free of annoyance.

Or, so he thinks, until Dream comes up behind him and slings an arm over his shoulder.

“Dream, what a pleasant surprise,” Techno says.

“Oh, don’t be like that. How are you?”

“Same as always. You?”

“Dying a little every day,” Dream sighs. “I almost got mauled by fans this morning while I was getting coffee. So damn lucky I got this facemask, man.”

Techno chuckles. “Walking around on your own is playing with fire, Dream. The execs will murder you if someone rips your mask off and takes a picture. Your face is half of your audience.”

Dream’s brows furrow. “Not half.”

“So, is all of HAZE here?” Techno asks, brushing off the beginnings of a debate in favor of looking around for the rest of his sister group.

“No, we’re a subunit down. Just Somni today. The Mal guys are all stuck in quarantine ‘cause Bad got the sniffles and management is paranoid.”

“F. I was lookin’ forward to seeing Skeppy completely fail some dances. He sucks at RPD. Never knows when to quit.”

“Speaking of,” Dream says with a grin in his voice.

They finally turn and enter the dance studio, stepping onto the vinyl and spreading out. The camera crew immediately begins setting up along the wall where the door is located, and people are already migrating to the edges of the room to line up and wait.

“I have a bet for you,” Dream says ominously. He pulls Techno with his arm, making a sharp left to bring Techno to the mirrored wall, very close to the camera. “A challenge, you might say.”

“Challenge?” Techno asks, raising an eyebrow.

“You think you’re a pretty good dancer, right? Confident in your catalog of knowledge?” Dream teases.

“I’d say so, yes.”

“I will pay you a hundred bucks if you can pull off every single song they play.”

“Every one?” Techno asks, raising his eyebrows. “Isn’t the playlist like, half an hour?”

Dream’s eyes crinkle as he smiles beneath his mask. “What, are you not up to the task?”

Ahh, now it’s all coming together. Dream sounds so cocky about it, laying down a hundred dollars for a bet like this, but he thinks the odds are stacked in his favor. Half an hour of RPD is, like, forty or fifty songs. He’s trying to psych Techno out by taunting him. He’s even pulled Techno downstage so that he can’t watch dancers in front of him for hints.

“I mean, if you don’t think you can—”

“You got your wallet on you?” Techno asks.

After a long moment, Dream furrows his brows. “Yeah.”

“Got a hundred bucks in there?”

“Yeah, wh—?”

“If I win, I want you to give it to me on camera and explain the bet so that people don’t think I’m just being an attention whore,” Techno says.

“That’s your _only_ condition?” Dream asks, flipping from confused to incredulous in a heartbeat.

“That’s it.”

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

They shake on it, and Dream strolls across the room towards Sapnap and George, who are similarly downstage like the cocky bastards they are.

Techno watches Phil shuffle forward in his peripheral vision.

“What was that?”

“A bet that I’m gonna win,” Techno says.

* * *

About ten minutes before they get started, the last two groups stumble in, late as usual. CrewM8 with Corpse’s whole eight-person squad, and then at the last second comes BTCH with Schlatt, Quackity, Conner, and Minx. The producer comes on and tells them what’s expected, and they all nod obediently, ready to get on with their work.

* * *

Once they all give their go-ahead, someone hits play, and the speakers crackle to life with the text-to-speech voice announcer giving a countdown.

> **_“Five. Four. Three. Two. One.[나약한 날 견딜 수 없어—”](https://youtu.be/MOwaUlXZxkI?t=70)_ **

The RPD starts with BLACKPINK, and Techno has a feeling in his gut that he’s gonna be a hundred dollars richer.

He steps forward with just about every reasonable person present and pulls his invisible rifle to the beat of Kill This Love. He can salute to the metaphorical murder of abusive men. That’s a damn good way to start a game, actually.

* * *

Ten songs in and Techno’s getting some weird looks from around the room, but he’s fine, because the countdown between songs is only five seconds, which only gives him five seconds to notice people staring at him before he’s back on the dance floor.

It also only gives him five seconds to catch his breath before he’s running out and launching into another dance.

God damn it.

* * *

> **_“Four. Three. Two. One.[—clap your haaaands~”](https://youtu.be/IMIcMrEuS-Q?t=219)_ **

Cherry Bomb. Okay. Everyone knows this one, even if only a few people can do it cleanly.

Techno steps forward, as per usual, and watches Sapnap and Dream move forward together. Out of his periphery, he spots Corpse and Minx and Niki and Ranboo stepping out too, and that’s good, because this is a formation-heavy song.

He slips into place, starts the motions, the jumps, the sharp movements, and glances behind him to notice that they’re—

Oh god damn it. They’ve all formed the V behind him. So he’s gonna have to— yeah. Fuck it.

> **_“Cherry bomb feel it yum.”_ **

Joke’s on Dream, because Techno can do a controlled backward death drop in his _sleep._

> **_“Na na na nanana!”_ **

And then he’s up, doing the crunch and the flexes on the next beat, and then just because he’s at the center of the formation, he does the Taeyong horizontal flip to stand back up, and then he goes as low as he can for the splits because he feels Dream’s hand on his shoulder pushing down. When he walks away, he hears Dream cackling to himself, but Techno is the one with the satisfaction,

* * *

Here is a list of the girl group songs that he pulls off flawlessly:

[Butterfly](https://youtu.be/ADJorSdTRCI?t=65) by LOOΠΔ. [Senorita](https://youtu.be/rhBa2_-qw00?t=126) by (G)I-dle. [Yes or Yes](https://youtu.be/Nl4BJ2TDmWE?t=209) by TWICE. [Crush](https://youtu.be/wzoZRUnk1Xc?t=127) by Weki Meki. [Russian Roulette](https://youtu.be/UZncgkoK5AU?t=39) by Red Velvet. [ICY](https://youtu.be/mBvdwhgyqVY?t=109) by ITZY.

Here is a list of the girl group songs that he fucks up:

Yeah, that’s right, it’s _empty,_ because they’re bangers and they’re fun to dance to, so he knows them just as well as he knows SuperM and BTS and MONSTA X songs. Of course he doesn’t fuck them up. 100% commitment. From the glances he takes when he gets to turn or spin in the choreography, he notices that he’s usually the only dude on the floor, but plenty of them are doing the arm motions from the sides, which suggests that they _do_ know the moves, just not well enough to step out and try the positioning.

He sees Tommy snickering at him out of the corner of his eye when he dances to Love Bomb, but Tommy can go fuck himself. Some day he’ll grow up and learn the making heart signs does not give him cooties.

* * *

> **_"Three. Two. One.[I wanna breathe, just set me free **—"**](https://youtu.be/KwMSaypGi7A?t=74)_ **

Techno is the _only_ person to step up when Breath by AB6IX plays.

He would be lying if he said that didn’t make him feel fucking ecstatic.

* * *

There is exactly one song that makes him nervous.

> _**"Two. One.[니 모습이 흐려지는데."](https://youtu.be/1TX-uu6lfRw?t=140)** _

It’s Shock by Beast, because _of course_ it has to be from the group that revolutionized dance in KPOP. He thinks he knows it. He remembers practicing this, eternity ago, when he was working on mastering his body control, and then again when he needed to practice for his cover of MOVE, but he hasn’t danced to _this_ in years, and what if—

Well, there’s really no time. He recognizes the song, and he’s made a bet, so he walks out alone onto the floor and hopes his memory’s better than he thinks it is.

> _**"Every day I shock—"** _

Pop hands down. Slide left foot in. Shift. Tuck. Pivot. Hand up, pull back in. Repeat all that on the opposite side, then slide hands away from body movement. Hands pump up on the _“oh oh oh”_ s, and then point on the left foot drag.

He realizes, belatedly, that he actually _does_ seem to remember how to do this dance.

He thinks, rather sharply, _SUCK IT, DREAM._

* * *

> _**["Fancy you,](https://youtu.be/iRw4kL1CMI8?t=65) 지금 너에게로 갈래. Fancy, ooh!"** _

The last song is FANCY, and then the producer calls out that they’re finished.

The room goes up in applause.

Techno is staring at Dream.

Dream, who obediently pushes off of his wall and raises his hands, calling for attention.

“So I, uh, I have something to announce,” Dream says sheepishly to the room.

Techno very much enjoys every second he gets of Dream having to explain himself to the camera crew, producer, managers, and the three other professional groups. He also enjoys walking to the center of the room and holding out a hand, and enjoys the way people laugh as Dream unzips his pants pocket to pull out his wallet, and he VERY much enjoys watching Dream count out five twenty-dollar bills to hand over.

“Well aren’t you happy with yourself?” Phil asks as they walk towards the sleepyB⌀IS dance room.

“Oh, definitely,” Techno grins. “Random Play Dances are always fun. I like ‘em.”

“You like it a lot more when there’s a way for you to compete and win.”

"I like it a lot better when _Dream loses,_ how about that."

Phil's laugh rings out so loud that Tommy and Wilbur turn around and ask what they've missed. Techno takes no small amount of pleasure refusing to let them in on the joke.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok. If anyone is interested, yes, I did plan out all the groups and the subunits, and I’ll drop them all here to curse you with the planning I put way too much time into.
> 
> **HAZE**
> 
> Subunit: Somni
> 
> -Dream, George, Sapnap
> 
> Subunit: Mal
> 
> -Ant, Bad, Sam, Skeppy
> 
> **SBI**
> 
> Subunit: STR♡Wberris
> 
> -Niki, Eret, Ranboo, Tubbo
> 
> Subunit: sleepyB⌀IS
> 
> -Phil, Techno, Wilbur, Tommy
> 
> **BTCH**
> 
> -Schlatt, Minx, Conner, Quackity
> 
> **CrewM8**
> 
> -Corpse, Karl, Sykkuno, Ludwig, Rae, Hafu, Brooke, Fuslie
> 
> Btw disclaimer: This AU doesn’t work on a cultural standpoint at ALL, like, the Dream SMP folks are clearly not korean and they’re not even remotely part of the culture that’s connected to kpop. I’m aware that the au doesn’t make sense, but I liked the idea of groups and subunits and dance and there’s not really any western boyband concepts that match the vibe that kpop has, so here we are.


End file.
